


Too Hot (Hot Damn)

by pure1magination



Category: The Losers (2010)
Genre: Fluff, Food, M/M, Restaurants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-12
Updated: 2015-08-12
Packaged: 2018-04-14 09:53:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4560150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pure1magination/pseuds/pure1magination
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen *thinks* he likes Mexican food</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too Hot (Hot Damn)

"Dude, I  _love_ Mexican food!"

Cougar met Jensen's eyes, silently waiting for him to elaborate.

He needn't have waited. Jensen plowed on. "Where are we going? Taco Bell? Q'doba? Del Taco? -Dude, Taco Bell is my  _favorite._ Have you ever tried their nacho Dorito tacos? Nacho Doritos are delicious enough on their own, but whoever decided to combine them with taco fixings was a culinary  _genius._  Dorito taco shells, man. They are the food of the future. And those cinnamon twist things for dessert? I don't know  _how_  they manage to get them so light and fluffy, but man, they are  _seriously_ the best. And they're only a dollar! Can you believe it? -Coug, you're Mexican! What's your favorite Mexican food?"

Cougar smirked and shook his head. "You'll see." _  
_

"Aw, c'mon! That's all I get? I'm baring my  _soul_ to you here, man! The least you could do is tell me your favorite food!"

Cougar's tiny smile tugged infuriatingly at his lips as he calmly steered the car down yet another dirt road. Who knew Mexico had so many dirt roads? Jensen had been expecting more sand. And more cacti. "Where are all the cacti? I haven't seen a single cactus in at  _least_ the past fifteen miles! Aren't cacti everywhere in Mexico? Also sand. Where's all the sand?"

"Not a desert," Cougar replied calmly, showing the slightest sign of annoyance. And it certainly wasn't; the area they were currently driving through was very green, save for the seemingly endless dirt roads, and the occasional building.

"Okay, no, that's kind of a given. I got that. 'Cause this  _definitely_ doesn't look like a desert. But like. All I ever see of Mexico is sand and cacti and tacos, and sombreros, and ponchos. Except apparently 'sombrero' is Mexican for 'hat', so technically  _all_ hats are 'sombreros' here, so how do you differentiate between sombreros and other hats? Why did you just call those grassy straw-hat-things "hats" when all the other hats have names? That's gotta be so confusing! Like, 'Hey Jose! Hand me the sombrero!' 'Which one?!' Amiright? -Where is this restaurant anyway?"

"Not far," Cougar promised.

Jensen plowed on as though he hadn't even heard him. "Oh good. I am  _starving._ Haven't had anything since the waffles at the hotel this morning- which were  _amazing_ , by the way! Who knew Mexico had such great waffles? I was expecting some sort of Mexican breakfast food, but no! Good-old-fashioned American continental breakfast. Which, considering we  _are_ still technically in North America, probably shouldn't have been so much of a surprise, but people don't really generally think of Mexico as part of North America. It's just too far  _south_ , y'know?"

Cougar grunted noncommittally.

"Hey, how come I never see  _you_ wearing traditional Mexican clothes? Do you even  _own_ a poncho and a sombrero? And come to think of it, I haven't seen a single person with the big black mustache I see all over the Halloween store. Is that just a stereotype, or..?"

Cougar's mouth was tight.

"Aw no. I've offended you, haven't I. I know that face. I'm sorry, Coug! I didn't mean it! I'm not trying to be closed-minded here, it's just, all I know about Mexico is stuff I learned in Spanish class in high school, and I was only half-paying attention because the teacher was  _super_ -boring and tended to just ramble on and on about stuff no one cared about, and- What, why are you laughing?"

Cougar had snorted; his shoulders were shaking with silent mirth. He gave Jensen one quick glance, brown eyes sparkling, before returning his attention to the road.

Jensen smiled self-deprecatingly and hung his head. "Point taken." He was silent for a bit as Cougar steered them into a parking lot next to a small brick building with a large awning and faded letters across the front. "Is this the place?!"

"Sí." Cougar turned off the engine and unbuckled his seatbelt.

Jensen quickly followed suit and leapt out of the car. The sun caught his florescent orange shirt, making him near-blinding to look at. Cougar only glanced for a moment as Jensen stretched his arms out as though to embrace the sunlight, and the t-shirt tightened across his chest. Cougar's errant glance was shielded from Jensen's view by Cougar's ever-present hat, which cast his eyes in grateful shade. He led them inside the building; Jensen followed, bouncing and rambling about his Spanish teacher, interrupted only by a waiter guiding them to their seat and asking what they'd like to drink.

Cougar wasn't listening anymore. Everything coming out of Jensen's mouth right now was either offensive or irrelevant, or both, and Cougar didn't feel like being annoyed with him right now, so instead he looked over his menu, even though he already knew what he was going to order, and allowed Jensen's familiar pitch and cadence to become his background music. Occasionally he would raise an eyebrow or pull his mouth a little to the side; silent responses which always evoked an amusing reaction from Jensen as he guessed Cougar's meaning. Most of the time, he was surprisingly privy to Cougar's inner thoughts. But not all the time.

Now, for example, Jensen thought Cougar was silently judging him on his lack of actual information about Mexico, or perhaps amused by his shenanigans in high school Spanish. Instead, Cougar's attention was focused on the comfort of the familiar atmosphere, the scent of corn and tomatillos and cilantro, the warmth of the building, the softness of the natural floor, but at least half of his attention was focused on his ever-silent and ever-subtle admiration of the man in front of him. The way his muscles flexed when he gestured emphatically, the way the fabric of his shirt stretched over his shoulders and his pecs, the way he leaned back to show he was at ease, or forward to show he was enthusiastic. The way his too-blue eyes shone behind his glasses.

And when the waiter brought their drinks, the way Jensen's lips wrapped around the glass, the way the condensation dripped down between his fingers, the way his throat bobbed when he swallowed- "And for you, sir?" the waiter was asking.

Cougar calmly recited his order, as though he hadn't just been staring. No one was any the wiser.

The waiter promised the food would be there soon.

Jensen launched back into another passionate badly-informed ramble. This time Cougar half-listened, genuinely amused.

"-See, I remembered!" Jensen tapped his glass. "No ice. The water in Mexico is bad for people who aren't used to it. I heard about this guy, who knew not to order the water, but he went ahead and ordered a soda  _with ice_ , and he had food poisoning for a  _week!_  -Why is your water so bad here anyway? Just, a problem with filtration? Are there chemicals in it? Why does the water here make people sick? -You know what, I'm gonna research that when I get home. Hell, I guess I should've been researching Mexico this whole time, before we even got here, but I just got so caught up in mission stuff that I-- okay, that's not  _entirely_ true. I found out the entire series of  _Animaniacs_ was available for free online and I  _may_ have been marathoning that for the past week. But come onnn! _Animaniacs!_ That's a fucking  _classic!_ Have you ever watched it, Coug? -Oh man, you've  _got_ to! I'm gonna show you some of my favorite episodes when we get back to the hotel. There's this one, where--" Jensen broke off, giggling at something, then snickering. "-Actually, you know what? I'm not gonna explain it. It's funnier if you just see it." _  
_

Cougar took his word for it. He sipped his beer.

Jensen rambled.

Cougar didn't recognize most of the titles he was throwing out-  _Freakazoid, Teen Titans, Hi Hi Puffi Ami-Yumi, The Powerpuff Girls--_

"WHAT?! You've never seen  _The Powerpuff Girls?!!_ Oh man you are missing OUT! We're gonna watch that too," Jensen promised loudly. He started talking about the basic premise and some of his favorite minor characters.

Cougar had never been the biggest fan of cartoons; he hadn't grown up with them, and he'd never had much of a reason to watch them. But they were bright and colorful and amusing, and Jensen loved them, so.. He was warming up to them. Slowly.

Their food arrived.

Cougar patiently waited for his food to cool somewhat before digging in; Jensen quickly thanked the waiter and continued ranting about how awesome  _The Powerpuff Girls_ are.

Absently, mid-rant, he cut himself a bite of food and shoved it in his mouth.

Suddenly, he stopped.

His eyes watered.

He chewed slowly and swallowed.

His face slowly turned pink.

And then Jensen suddenly grabbed his drink and gulped down about half of it in one go.

Cougar politely hid his mouth and shook with silent laughter.

"HOLY GUACAMOLE! That is  _hot!"_ Jensen exclaimed, eyes streaming.

Cougar's shoulders shook harder.

Jensen stuck out his tongue and fanned it with his hand, searching the table for something cooler to eat. His eyes locked onto the tortilla chips. He crammed chip after chip into his mouth, washing them down with his drink.

The whole time, Cougar was laughing too hard to eat. But he never made a single sound. Not until Jensen sat back, drink empty, and exhaled a low whistle.

"Bienvenido a Mexico."

"How is your  _stomach_ still intact?! How do you not have, like, a thousand ulcers?!? What is even  _in_ this stuff?"

Cougar shrugged one shoulder. "Description is in the menu."

"Yeah, I know! I looked!" 

The waiter helpfully stopped by to offer a refill on Jensen's drink.

Jensen gratefully accepted.

He attempted another bite of his food, but it was just too hot. His eyes and nose were both streaming.

The waiter politely asked if Jensen would like to order something else from the menu.

Cougar sat back with a smirk as Jensen ordered again. 

"What?" Jensen asked, paranoid, as the waiter walked away. "Did I order the wrong thing?"

Cougar shook his head 'no.'

"Is that gonna be as spicy as the thing I just ordered?"

Cougar shrugged one shoulder.

Jensen groaned and rubbed his face, elbows slamming on the table.

Three such exchanges later, Jensen had sampled one item from every section on the menu and found them all too hot, he'd gone through two and a half baskets of chips, and his drink had been re-filled four times. The waiter was starting to get concerned. Cougar had long since finished his own meal. He beckoned the waiter and explained something in Spanish, the only words of which Jensen understood were 'amigo' and 'gringo'. But whatever he said, the waiter nodded in understanding and headed back to the kitchen, and twenty minutes later, Jensen had something in front of him which he could eat. It looked suspiciously like something from the kids' menu. But at that point, Jensen was too out-spiced to care. He dug in gratefully.

Cougar silently observed him.

"You did that on  _purpose_ ," Jensen accused halfway through his meal.

Cougar maintained an innocent expression. He tilted his head to the side cluelessly.

Jensen muttered something grumpy-sounding.

Cougar leaned forward, arranging his face into 'concern.'

"You're buying me dessert," Jensen proclaimed, pointing his fork at Cougar.

Cougar smirked.

"Oh no!" Jensen groaned. "Don't tell me the  _desserts_ are spicy, too!"

Cougar chuckled. 

"They are, aren't they. Coug-!" Jensen warned, wary. "Don't lie to me, man. Are the tastbuds I have left gonna be seared off by whatever you get for dessert?"

Cougar shook his head, amused. "No spice."

"There better not be!" Jensen was honestly a little scared at this point. He'd had no idea what Cougar's tastebuds could handle. Turns out, they could handle a  _lot._

"Promise."


End file.
